Best Round

Things that are nice/better/healthier/more beautiful/more useful when they’re fat/round/bigger:

Babies (including puppies, chicks, most sorts of babies), tires, paychecks, bank accounts, envelopes from colleges to which you’ve applied, bunnies, berries, pumpkins, Christmas stockings, Christmas trees, bows, firecrackers, most loaves of bread, red wines (in the sense of being lush), scotches (same thing), hobbits, dwarves, tribbles, steaks, cushions, comforters, shellfish, peaches (most fruits), hot-air balloons (duh), mugs, quadriceps (in my opinion), sandwiches, little girls’ party dresses, many birds–but especially chickens, shrubberies, bagels, roses, amaryllis bulbs, Santas, Conchata Ferrell, Peter Ustinov, Jane Russell, Monty Woolley, Sidney Greenstreet, Marilyn Monroe (fabulous at any weight…), Elizabeth Taylor (ditto), Melissa McCarthy, Rebel Wilson, Orson Welles, Jack Black, Peeps, petticoats, 1950s Dior skirts, beach balls, tulips, gems, job offers, publishing contracts, Buddhas, Ganesh, grants & fellowships, flowering trees, the toes of most shoes…

I’m sure I’ve missed things in this generously-defined list. I know there’s another actor from the 30s & 40s–he was German, white-haired, and always played the sweetie-pie waiter, or uncle, or ditzy scholar.

Anyway, have fun with it. round dancer.6



4 thoughts on “Best Round

  1. Miriam Sagan says:

    Rich adds Wagnerian sopranos and I am wondering about the moon…

    • fatmatters says:

      Ah, the moon. Well, it’s wonderful in all its phases, but perhaps most beautiful when full. So, yes, the moon. Wagnerian sopranos never would have occurred to me, of course, and there will always be an exception for the greatest of them–Bugs Bunny. But, now that I think of that bit of brilliance, there are, of course, the most wonderful animated horses ever–and boy, were they ROUND.

  2. Nemoleon says:

    You mean S.Z. (“Cuddles”) Sakall?

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